forgive?

I'm going to share something with you, okay? It's hard for me to forgive. Yeah, I said it. I have a hard time forgiving people. It's something that I'm not entirely proud of, but it's the truth. If you do me wrong, expect me not to talk to you for at least five years. And I won't even think anything of it. I will go about my life and pretend like you never even existed. Now, I'm totally exaggerating on the five years thing but you get the picture. I'm not a good forgiver. This quote though inspires me to forgive others a little more easily than I have been. I am a sinner. I want God's forgiveness. I need His forgiveness. So in order to be forgiven, I need to forgive. It's like saying God, I'm not perfect, I make mistakes and I need your forgiveness but I can't see that other people make mistakes and need forgiveness too. Doesn't quite make sense does it?  Still so hard, but I'm trying. I'm trying. 

If I were to be asked, why is it so hard for you to forgive, I'm not sure I would have a straight answer. I mean, I'm not sure why forgive-ability is something that I lack. But I'll try to give you guys the best answer that I know how. Okay, I have a problem with the whole forgive and forget thing. I can forgive you (it might take me awhile but eventually I'll do it), but forget what you did, that's a whole other story. Here's my reasoning. You know the saying fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Well, I sort of live by it. I can forgive you, but I would be a fool to let you keep doing the same thing over and over to me. I can forgive you, but from now on I know where I stand. I can forgive you but let you hurt me again, fat chance. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense here, but too many times I've forgiven someone just to have them hurt me again. That's no bueno. So I've learned that forgiveness is necessary. Holding a grudge is so unhealthy, but I cannot let you hurt me again. Don't judge me, I'm still a work in progress. 

This quote right here is what truly makes the whole forgiving thing a smaller pill to swallow. So many times (myself included) we think that forgiving someone is giving them a free pass or it's something for them. We (myself included) fail to realize that true forgiveness is for us. It's what makes us stronger and it is so freeing. It's much harder to go out of your way and hold a grudge toward someone. Let me tell you, it's exhausting. It's much easier and less stressful to just forgive. Let it go. That being said, forgiveness is no easy task. For me, it's been a hard thing to master, but I'm praying to be a more forgiving person. 

I'm challenging you (and myself) to forgive that person in your life who has done you wrong. To let go of the pain and move forward into the future. To make forgiveness about you and release that burden (yes, forgiveness is such a burden to carry) and be free.

You need to forgive that person today. Just believe me.

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