Monday, October 28, 2013

Love Chronicles: dealing with a breakup

Why is breaking up so incredibly hard to do? I still remember my first breakup and let me tell you, I was a mess. Everyone has gone through at least one of them in their life. Getting your heart broken or the loss of a relationship is never easy, but I've come up with a few tips that made things a little easier for me (hopefully they will help you too). Everyone is different, but I think these few things are something everyone can do to get through a tough breakup.

1. Allow yourself to feel hurt. Allow yourself to feel, to cry, to do whatever it is that you want to do. So many people try to push those feelings aside and I don't think that's wise. If you give yourself time to grieve at first, it will save you a lot of heartache later. 

2. Don't dwell on the loss for too long. It's not healthy to sit there for weeks and weeks feeling sorry for yourself. Give yourself a few days to grieve and that's it. Get back to your normal routine.

3. Focus on yourself and all the great things in your life. Spend more time with your family and friends, laugh and just be happy. I know it's hard, but you have to focus on the positive. Go out with you girlfriends, treat yourself to a mani/pedi, spend time with you! Focus on you! Once you learn how good it is to be by yourself, then you can make way for a new love. Throw yourself into your work. Do what you love to do. Start a new project. Maybe do something you always wanted to do. When you've done all that, you'll be surprised how little you've thought about your ex. You're too busy enjoying your amazing life to dwell on the past. It's hard to do, but once you do it, you will be amazed at how you feel. 

4. You also have to know that it isn't going to be easy. Don't kid yourself. Know that it is going to take time. Don't pressure yourself and rush. Take your time to get back to you. It's going to take a bit of getting used to being on your own (especially if the relationship lasted awhile), so take that time. Also don't beat yourself up with should of, could of, would ofs. Focus on your future not your past. You have a beautiful life ahead of you. Make that your priority. Not rehashing all the things that went wrong. 

5. Also, don't worry about what he's doing and who he's doing it with. Worry about you. You're going to meet some amazing people and do amazing things. Your life isn't less whole without him. It's just different and that's not a bad thing. Let your life work and flow naturally. Things will happen will they are meant to happen. Know that and trust  it. I want all of you who are going through a breakup right now to know that you aren't the only who is going through it. Do not pity yourself. 

6. One thing that I want to address is being friends with your ex. If you still want to friends with your ex, I say go for it. Just remember a few key things. Don't rush your friendship. You have to be truly over that person before starting a friendship. Otherwise you will have to go through all that heartache again. If the breakup is still new don't have contact. You have to allow yourself to heal. And don't be pressured to be friends with your ex. Not everyone can do it. If you don't want to then don't. Don't let him pressure you into it. Only you know what you can and cannot handle, so go with that. 

7. Lastly, don't give up on love. Just because you've had one bad breakup doesn't mean love still isn't out there. Trust me it is! Don't rush to find it, let it find you. I live by the saying if its meant to be then it will be. 

Well there you have it, my breakup tips. Keep in mind, there are other things you can do. These are just things that I found helpful, so if you have any tips share them below. I would love to read them.

P.S. I actually wrote this last year (not really sure) waaaayyy before I had a blog or even thought about having one. I think it's still pretty relavent today and I love looking back on things I wrote awhile ago.

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