Wednesday, November 5, 2014

A New Start

The Beginning
November 5, 2014

Well I actually have no clue what I'm going to write, or what I'm supposed to write. I figured I would just start writing, typing really, and see what comes of it. That seems to be the best way to approach things right? You just go for it. Not really knowing how it's going to turn out, but you hope for the best. Or in my case you hope what you're saying, or what you're trying to say, makes sense. So what's in my head? What do I want to say? That's the thing, I have no clue. There are so many thoughts in my head, gaps I want to fill in, but I'm not quite sure where to start. Already things are becoming a little jumbled, so I'll just start from the beginning. So, I love writing. I discovered I had the natural ability to write when I was young. I'm no author by any means, the thought of writing a book actually scares me, but I love being able to write down what I'm feeling and basically just random things. I had a journal (we'll refrain from calling it a diary) and I used to write in it often. I still have them and let me tell you it's beyond hilarious to read what my teenage self wrote. But isn't it the best though? I mean, when I read it I can still remember how I felt even where I was when I wrote it. It takes me back to that time and that's what good writing is. It makes you feel things, takes you to another place. So that's what I want to start doing. I want to write about things that I love, things that are important to me. I want to write my feelings and maybe get emotional at times, who knows. When I started this blog, I had no clue what I was doing. Still don't if I'm being honest. Sticking to this whole honesty thing, I also wasn't being true to myself. I read other blogs, and while I wasn't  trying to emulate them, I did what I thought people wanted to read. In doing that, I begin to hate it. I didn't want to do it because it wasn't me. I do love fashion, but I'm not rich. At all. I don't wear brand name or expensive clothing. I would love to, but that's just not me. I couldn't relate to those blogs at all. So who am I you ask, well that's the thing, I'm still figuring that out. I don't quite know exactly who I am, but here's what I do know. I'm a 22 year old young woman who's still trying to find her place in this world. I have fear of the unknown, I want to make my mother proud, and I don't know what the future holds. I'm just an average girl who lives in a small town. I have big dreams but sometimes I have no idea how I'm going to make them a reality.  I'm an average girl, but I'm unique. I'm on this journey called life and I'm not sure which road I'm going to take, but I am sure that I'm going to be me, be true to myself every step of the way. Sometimes I live for others more than I live for myself, I get insecure sometimes, and a little too comfortable with the mundane. I'm also a girl who loves to make people happy and give myself to others. I'm sarcastic, witty, and, funny. The thing I want most out of life is to enjoy it and be happy. I want to find love, have a family, and most of all just be JaToya. With that being said, this blog may be a complete mess. My life is like that sometimes and that's okay. It's okay. Like life, I'm just going to go with it and see where it goes. I hope you'll join me!

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