Tuesday, September 17, 2013

flaws and all

A few days ago I was reading one of my favorite blogs Damsel in Dior and I came across this post. I immediately fell in love with Jacey's ability to admit her flaws and insecurities and share them with her readers. It made me fall in love with her and her blog even more. More than that though, it really got me thinking. I was inspired to do my own post on my own flaws and insecurities. Reading her post helped me realize that I'm not the only one in the world with a list of flaws a mile long and insecurities to boot. It also helped me realize that I am my own worst enemy and critic (as my mom has told me many times before) and that I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself. Without further ado, here's my take on Jacey's post and I want to say a big thank you to her for inspiring me. 


So, where do I begin? I'm insecure about a lot of things. A lot of things. I've never been a secure or confident person. I critique myself to no end and I can be quite negative towards myself. I'll start with the fact that I don't feel pretty. Never really have. There are times when I feel like I might be, but the true feeling is never really there. I don't like the way my top lip gets super thin when I smile. Actually I kind of hate that. Sometimes I feel like I have a big forehead, but that could just be my imagination. Other than that, my face isn't the thing that haunts me at night. In my eyes, I have much bigger problems.

 Should I talk about the fact that I've felt constantly compared to others my whole life or the fact that sometimes I feel like a big fat blob? I've never felt good enough in way or even that I was lovable. I have a lower tummy pooch that makes me feel disgusting at times and no matter what I do, my thighs, hips, and butt just won't disappear. My arms jiggle and I hate that. I also have flat feet. I kind of hate that too. My body has never been something that I've been proud of. It's given me the most trouble, but oddly enough, it's not something that I obsess over. You see, I've gotten pretty good at faking confidence. 

Internally, I don't feel like I'm that bad. Sure, I can hold a grudge like nobody's business. Yeah, I'm a bit of a negative Nancy and I'm a bit moody. I'm incredibly shy. I always assume the worst and I always jump to conclusions. Did I mention that it's hard for me to see other people's point of view? I'm a worrier and I always have been. I'm easily stressed out and that's what does haunt me at night. Oh, and I'm the world's best complainer and I've got the whole putting myself down thing down pat. I've been hurt and used more times than I can count. People always seem to think it's a good idea to take advantage of me. I'd be an idiot not to fear the damage that has done to me. I'm a real winner. 

I'm pretty sure I could go on and on. Those are just some of my flaws, but going over everything I'm insecure about is not really the purpose of this post. There are some pretty amazing things about myself that I am proud of. I consider myself to be a giving person. I'm always willing to give and I do it out of the kindness of my heart. I'm a smart person. I'm helpful. I'm cautious. I'm dependable and responsible, I'm loyal to a fault. I think that's the Taurus in me. I'm also thoughtful, compassionate, and empathetic. There's a heart in me somewhere. 

I love the quote "once you've accepted your flaws no one can use them against you." There's nothing anyone can say about me that I haven't already said about myself. You can call me fat (and people have). Well, I've already called myself that. Ugly. I pretty much think that about myself anyway. See, you can't use my flaws against me. I'm already aware of them. That being said, my flaws don't run my life. I'm actually a happy person. I don't sit and think about everything that's wrong about me all of the time. If I did that, I would seriously go crazy. In Jacey's post she talked about being her own worst enemy and that is so true for me. Like I said, I'm my own worst critic and no one can do that better than me. The battles I fight are internal. 

I hope that by reading this post, you realized that everyone has insecurities and flaws and it's okay. What's not okay is to obsess over them and let them run your life. I am proud of who I am and the person I am becoming. I am happy to embrace my flaws because they make me unique. Let's try not to be so hard on ourselves ladies. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

*Update I wasn't sure if I should post this because I didn't want it to seem like I was complaining. I'm not complaining. Like I said, I'm happy with who I am and I'm happy with the flaws that make me unique. I'm striving everyday to be a better person.

3 comments :

  1. great look!

    http://glamourgirl-bg.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes embracing one's so-called flaws is not the easiest good for her and you!

    Ali of Dressing Ken

    ReplyDelete

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